so is it sad that even though I just finished my marathon of work, coffee shop, write till close, go home, sleep, work etc. I still feel compelled to visit the coffee shop? even though for now I don't need to do any writing. hehe

Speaking of the coffee shop, it is ridiculously busy now that it hit noon. Sitting at a table near where the line forms = bad idea, hehe oh well


So I bought a pumpkin last night and now I'm debating on whether I want to carve it or not and if I do want to carve it, what do I want to put on it. I was at dahl's and was just looking at the pumpkins and I really liked this one, so I grabbed it hehe. I'm just not sure what I wish to carve on it. Maybe I'll search around for some templates for inspiration.

Last night I caught my finger in a storm window as I was shutting it...which hurt like effin hell I'll tell ya, missing chunk of skin and everything.....anyway I put a bandaid on it last night and left it on while I showered because the spray of the water on my finger hurt like hell. Well then I went to sleep, this morning I wake up, do morning routine, run to the bookstore and realize the bandaid is still on. Well I go to take it off and my finger underneath has transformed into some weird wrinkly white thing! It's been a few hours and it's still wrinkly and whiteish hehe. Hopefully It'll fully recover.

So btw I turned in my thesis for my non Facebook friends. Now I am just awaiting feedback and things I need to change. Hopefully my professor will say I can defend it this semester and then yay I'll be done! hehe

Not that I really want to be done with school, but the stress of having my thesis while also full time teaching is making me batty.

I fear I may be getting a sore throat, I woke up and it felt weird, but this may also be due to the registers, which cause the air to be really dry , perhaps I'll need a humidifier before too long.

Speaking of humidity, it needs to make up its mind of whether it's going to rain or not! hehe


I discovered they now have higurashi manga at borders, this is awesome =) Looks like they are releasing multiple arcs at the same time, or it's really just been that long since I've gone to the bookstore (and yes it has been a long time, stupid being poor).

feeling very directionless today. I went to smokey row intending to work on my school stuff and I was there about an hour just mindlessly checking website stuff since I hadn't been online for a few days. It was pretty busy and I couldn't really focus enough to do school work.

So I decided to change my scenery and get some caffeine (at the row I got apple cider and soup)and am now at starbucks downtown. before I made that decision though I sat in my car for awhile debating on what to do. I thought about going home and just cleaning and playing around, but I have work I need to do so I was trying to get myself out and about so maybe i'd work.

I feel very lost and like I'm moving in circles. Maybe it's because I'm tired. I had a dream slightly before waking that hasn't left me yet. It wasn't a bad dream but for reason I keep thinking about it.

I think I really want to just sit and read, but I fear I'd feel guilty and bad for wasting my time reading.

oy! it's so confusing inside my head today

The coffee shop in my neighborhood is awesome and such. Lots of seating, decent coffee (so far =) heh), lots of food options, and well it's like a block away.

On other news, the stress of everything has crushed me and I've given up on the world....

Okay not quite, but I really really want to heheh. I got an email along the lines of blah blah deadlines blah do something lazy, blah! hehe

Work was a half day today, so that was simultaneously awesome and suck! Having 20 minute class periods seems pointless, you just really get into something and wham it's time to go. But it's also awesome because like duh short classes woo! hehe Although then we had teacher meeting which wasn't that exciting, but then room work time woo! so today went pretty well.

Although I am now very tired, my hair is still doing something f'ed up (facebook status this morning), and my thesis document is peeking at me around the browser window staring me down.

Oh yeah and did I mention I want to go home and sleep and play plants vs zombies and well pretty much anything but write my paper? oh.. I guess I have, like a million times before hehe

Unfortunately I don't seem to have inspiration motivational music on my laptop, it's seemingly deficient.

Okiely dokiely peeps I'm off to like try and do something hehe

...Having an order of french fries and no one to eat the other half...
...feeling connected and safe...


So I'm used to being the youngest and at work I'm actually the same age or older then most of my co-workers, but I still feel younger. It was a very weird thing to realize one day. I think it's because most of them are married, have kids, have a house, etc. and I still feel like I haven't even started life yet. I just got semi real furniture, that like matches and everything. I feel so in limbo and not where I want to be. Yet I can't get the motivation to even really do anything about it.

Went to a seminar thing today about my thesis submission, which just added fuel to that worry fire. How the hell did it become the end of September. Oy just typing about makes me feel like freaking out. *sigh*

I was driving back from ames and the moon was out and I could see lightening off in the distance, but when I got out of the car it smelled like winter. Like a really cold snowy day. It was very strange.

I simultaneously love and hate October.

I think I need a hot shower and to stop gibby from chewing on a cord

Scary potential trial bridge. I'm excited for it to be built so I can be too scared to cross it hehe =)

oy it's early.... that is all

days where you take a shower and immediately afterwards feel like you need a another shower

blech! heh

oh wait, not whee! hehe ugh!

so I've been awake before 7am both days this week so far, that's like some recent record for me. Luckily I don't have to be at training until 9am tomorrow, woo!

So job training has been interesting, and by interesting I mean boring =) these past couple days have been packet reading and videos. Policies, medicaid compliance, campus norms, cpr, first aid, etc etc.

The job sounds interesting still and has a lot of potential to be meaningful, i'm eager to get started. One nice thing is next week is teacher off week so I don't have to work and it looks like this summer I'll be more shadowing teachers and filling in and won't start teaching my own classes until fall. Although since they have some peeps teaching science that aren't certified in it, I may be taking those over, looks like I'll need to be flexible this summer =)

unfortunately with my new jobness this week my car has decided to be a pain in my ass and be all sorts of brokenness. Well pseudo broken I work for a few seconds, I don't work, i do work, etc. ugh! I may need to get a new car a hell of a lot sooner than I thought. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing =) hehe.


anyways thought i'd touch in since i haven't even really checked my internet stuff for a few days, off I go to look up plastic =)

Boo the time goes so fast. It's already going on Tuesday and next week I start my job training. Bah! hehe I mean it's nice to have a job and all, but boo no more sleeping in late! oh well I'll survive. I need to start going to be early and getting up early starting like now to get adjusted.

Think I found a cute apartment in the neighborhood I wanted this weekend. I'd looked at it once, but upon a second look with my mom, I really loved it. I love the street and neighborhood it's in, and I think it's odd and cute inside. I shall need to find equally cute things to put into the apartment. I've been looking at my stuff recently and feel it's time to move on some things. The only downside of this place is the stairs! hehe moving stuff in with blow, but hey walking up and down stairs is good for me right? I also plan to ride my back to farmer's market and such on weekends since they have the bike valet. We'll see how long my being more healthy initiative lasts =)

Thesis is coming along, still need to do the majority of my interviewing, silly participants being slow to communicate, or busy hehe. They should be at my beck and call! well okay not really but it's be nice.

Think I'm going to play some yoshi island ds and try to sleep soon, cya!

I officially begin my job training June 22nd, hello job and money, goodbye sleeping in late and being lazy =( hehe

my hands smell like garlic mmm

Apartment hunt has been on as well. I've looked around the sherman hill area at a couple places. There's a one bedroom apartment that's in the perfect location, it's on the super cute tree lined street I love, downside it's not very large and pretty much white everywhere, no wood trim etc. Second one on is a couple blocks away, super cute on the inside, it's a second floor but I have my own entrance and it has wood floors exposed brick etc. The problem with that one is it's a couple blocks away and thus not in the beautiful tree lined area I love. So now I'm debating. If the second place was in the location of the first i would already have filed my paper work and be on my way with it. But should the neighborhood matter that much? One is on 18th the other is on 20th so they actually are in the same neighborhood, and I could walk through the street I love on my way to downtown stuff. I also think it may have more space, but the outside is just so blah, hmm. So I've decided to go back to both of these places tomorrow and will be bringing mom along to get her opinions, I'm also trying to get mindfractals to go and give me his opinions as well, we shall see.

btw don't try and make your own caramelized bananas without a recipe heh.

now my hands smell like garlic and sugar, it's weird

bwargh!

so I potentially got the woodward position, yay a potential job! hehe I say potential because they are "waiting on some paper work but wanted to let me know they are interested in hiring me". mmm ok. By "paperwork" I imagine it's all that child abuse background check stuff I had to fill out when waiting for my interview. Probably checking up on me and making sure I'm coo to work with kids. Okay that makes sense. If I do get the job I may start training the end of this month and start working in July. Which is good to know that a paycheck may be coming soon in the distance. I do not do well with money issues, I feel very tense and anxious when I am unsure how I'm going to be paying bills etc. Probably left over from growing up with little money when I was younger. Along with bills comes the added stress of looking for a new place to live. I really doubt I'd want to live in Woodward even if it isn't so far from Des moines or Ames. I'd rather live in either one and commute to work, which really the commute is only about 30 minutes from either city so not bad at all. I'm leaning towards moving back to Des Moines as that's where the majority of my friends/family are and the places I like to hang out and it has somewhat more options for places to live since I wouldn't have to compete with college students. And although I hate moving the cool thing is Jon will still be living where we currently live so I can totally move out really slowly hehe. I won't be facing an ending lease where I must have everything out and cleaned and also move into a new place at the same time, but that's pretty much the only good thing about moving, otherwise packing and lugging stuff really sucks. I'm still totally contemplating some sort of moving service/pod thing heh ugh!

On a completely random side note, I just totally bent my thumb nail backwards and it hurts like hell ow! *nurses her wound*

so lets see, sunday I rode to dsm in the morning and came back early afternoon only to get back into the car and drive to dsm again and then back up again. Then Monday went to des moines again for memorial day stuff and lunch with mom. Today I drove to sioux city and back and tomorrow I will go to kansas city and back.


bwargh so much time in the car!!! ah it's okay, I like driving.

so summer is progressing along nicely, wtf is up with it almost being June. agh! hehe


hmm this does mean birthday is coming up, whee birthday! hehe


wow I'm really tired, that new active by EA for the wii kicks my ass, ugh soo sore.


okay enough randomness me sleep now, which btw really means playing ds for awhile in bed then sleeping hehe.

update that is =) hehe well rather it was a plea to her friends list to update because she was omfg bored, and since I totally identify with that feeling, I'm updating =)


whee so let's see, I'm currently at capanna (coffee shop) and attempting to work on my thesis literature review, blech! It's actually not going so bad and this is the third day this week I've gotten up out of the house and went to work on my paper, I'm quite proud of myself!

I was suppose to have a my last meeting for my Lib 160 TA job today, but apparently the room was busy with another meeting that was scheduled that also required the presence of half the Lib 160 instruction dept, so that meeting trumped ours. *wonders if that sentence made sense* ah well... so no meeting, which is okay, but now I feel like I must go to the party pot luck thing this saturday even more. Carolyn called to say the meeting was canceled and then like 3 times made sure I could make it to the party. Since it was both my last semester and the other Sarah's last semester they are probably planning something for us like a card or cake or whatever. Thus I'd feel pretty crappy if I didn't show up heh, ah well free food and a few hours out of my day isn't much to ask. Besides these people actually have been pretty cool to work for, I still maintain I had the best TA job on campus because you get all the same benefits but have way less hassle and work. So I will dice up some tomatoes and venture out into the country side hopefully with Jon so I have an escape buddy =) heh

let's see what else....oh yes I got a job interview next week, woo job interview! hehe oh wait... I hate job interviews!! I really am terrible at interviews, plus it sounds like this may be some weird group interview type senario, which I don't know if that just means a group of people show up and are interview separately or if we are all together, oy I hope not! hehe anyway so yeah it's for Woodward Academy (http://www.wwacademy.com/) which is a local all-male school for students with "issues" for lack of better way of putting it. When I taught at Saydel High school we often got students that des moines public schools had kicked out and wouldn't allow back and well woodward would be a place we'd send students that we no longer could handle. So yeah working there would be interesting enough hehe =)

Actually though it would fit in really well with the potential phd work I want to do involving science education and multicultural/ social justice education so even though it sounds like it'd be challenging I'm actually really interested in at least finding out more about the school. Also when the guy asked me about when I could come interview he asked when I'd be available to start, it didn't even dawn on me that they don't have regular school year schedule, so now I have to decide by next thursday when I potentially may want to start working. I don't want to say real far off and risk not getting it because of that, but I also want a summer hehe. We'll see =)


hmm anything else... I was thinking there were three things I wanted to ramble on about, but now I can't remember.

Oh well!!

I think i want to dye my hair again, it's been so long and the last time I had my hair this length was when I used to dye it all the time...hmmm heheh

okay I really should be working on my paper huh? hehe

bwargh! *rubs face* I swear I used to be able to go with little sleep much better than I can now. Tuesday night I couldn't sleep for like ever, I kept laying there tossing and turning, eventually figured out I had a headache and took some stuff and was able to sleep a little. Then jon came home from the lab around 5am. We talked for a bit and then I couldn't get back to sleep until around 8:30, this of course being 30 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, ugh! Anyway needless to say yesterday I was a zombie. I felt so crappy and just muh the whole day. I thought about napping, but figured that'd only make it difficult for me to sleep later so I instead went and got an assume deal on some pants ($8 woo!). Last night was better, I got woken up around 4:30 when Jon again came home from the lab, but I was able to go back to sleep until my 7:45 am alarm (stupid thursday being early day!). I still feel a little tired and my eyes are a little squinty, but I feel tons better than yesterday. Hopefully I'll get good sleep again tonight and will be fine tomorrow.

Luckily today has been a decent day in some regards. I was able to get the signatures I needed to get (still need to walk over to pearson and drop off one of the forms though) and I got an email saying I'd be contacted in the next few weeks concerning a job I applied for. Speaking of jobs I still wonder what I should do for money over the summer. Maybe I can find a pt job doing something mundane.

*yawns* ugh stupid yawning hehe

okay I suppose I should poke around at my thesis until it's time to go home.

bye!

which is fine =) I love grey raining days. I just prefer not having to go anywhere and do like actual work during them. Where is my coffee and book I say! Ah well.

So survived another weekend, it went pretty well. My dessert experiment for family dinner yesterday turned out well so that's a plus. Saturday didn't do much but putz around the house and then play a game with Jon.

*tummy gurgles* I swear being at work makes me hungry! It's because there is a cafe nearby I just know it! heh


mm coffee.... okie dokie, I know this is a small update but hey it's better than nothing =)

anyone know where I can go fax something?

Now the back of my hand stings, oh well.


Time is marching forward at an uncomfortable pace. Weeks are flying by and I'm struggling to keep up. I really need to kick my ass in gear. Of course I've been saying that for a month as well. ugh =(

Speaking of weeks flying by, yay it's the weekend! Suppose to be pretty nice out also, which will be awesome. I need to make a dessert for dinner on Sunday. I've been playing around with two dessert ideas either a berry cobbler or a strawberry cream cake. Both sound delicious, but the cake depends on good strawberries being available, so we'll see.

We are almost done grading packets at work so soon I'll have loads of free time at work again. Hopefully I'll be able to use that productively. The exciting thing is we are done a week earlier than normal which is nice. These sections are small. Yesterday though I had one packet that was hilarious. There was a question that the answer was suppose to be consultants or Financial planners, it involved doing some search on the Library page and writing down the results. Well I think this student got lost or confused or just didn't know what to do because their answer was "Optimus Prime can't pull this thing apart". heheh that made me giggle for a long while. The same person later on added a multiple choice option of "the tree of gondor" and circled that as the answer for a question. hehe ah good times in grading =) except the stupid paper cuts that is =P hehe


hmm speaking of grading I should get back to it so I can finish up!

Have a good weekend everyone!

Well break is over. I accomplished exactly nothing over break! oh except getting sick *sneeze, blow, sneeze, ugh* yeah woohoo! hehe

Oh well I guess I also accomplished effin' up my sleep schedule to the point that 9am is too early to get up. oh well I'll adjust that back eventually. I'm slightly starting to freak out now about the lack of progress on my research and it's impending doom. Gotta get working on that.

Otherwise every thing is about the same. ack *has nose attack for like 10 minutes* ugh I hate being sick, but especially at work where everyone can hear me dieing and carrying on. Oh well..

I think I had a purpose for this post but completely lost it after the nose explosion.

Oh well =) Happy Spring everyone! Bring on the rain =) awesome I love rain heheh


woo!!!

And of course it's fricken cold as hell out! wtf mate?

Almost done with work, wahoo. I actually have gotten some responses on my research project so wahoo on that front as well.

I made layer cake last night, mmmm *wishes she'd brought some to work*

is it 2pm yet? I want to go! heheh Although I have to help out a lecture at 1:10 this afternoon, ugh!

new episode of CSI tonight yay =)

erm... finished another book, lastest hendee book in the noble dead series, boo having to wait forever for the next one now!


I really should drink more water...


and I'm spent =)

Man every day this week has been a struggle to keep my eyes open. I feel as though my eyes have taken on a permanent squintyness to them. Even the gorgeous morning we are having didn't help me, of course now I'm inside away from all windows and wonderful breezes, so maybe it would help if I was exposed. *yawns* ugh! stupid stupidness! So I'm being a complete slacker this week and even though I feel bad about it, here I sit not doing anything about it. I blame the tiredness, that's it. =)

*rubs eyes*

So almost another weekend. Man that's crazy. I think this weekend is daylight savings time jump also. Stupid losing an hour of sleep..


mmmmlarrrrrrrghA!



okay yep sure =)

oy! What a past couple of days!

Okay really just one really long day but it felt like two. So yesterday I had to get up at 6:45am. That time shouldn't even exist as far as I'm concerned. So Sunday night after a marathon of journal article reading *blech!* I tried to go to bed halfway early and laid down at 11pm. I didn't end up falling asleep until after 2:30am. agh! I really can't survive on 4 hours of sleep anymore it just doesn't work.

So why did I have to get up so early? Because I went to go have an upper gi done. Which turns out to be standing in this contraption where first they make you swallow citrus pop rocks and then tell you not to burp. Oh and to wash down the pop rocks I was giving a white sludge that tasted horrible. So I stand there drinking this sludge while the doctor tells me to twist and turn this way and that way. Then he tells me to hang on and the contraption begins to lower down and I'm suddenly laying down. Oh and that white sludge? I know have to drink it with a straw, while laying down, while rolling over and back and forth. Woo fun times! ugh!

I get to go home and they warn me to drink tons and tons of fluids to wash the sludge out of me. woo fun! Oh yeah and did I mention that for the rest of the day it hurt to stand or sit upright? laying down or slouching was fine, but upright made horrible pains inside and later this spread to my back kidney area and was just generally painful all day.

The pain has subsided today so yay =) I did sleep in like forever though after the day of no sleep. heh

Sitting at work now, finding ways to pass the time.

I've started reading The Innocent Mage : Kingmaker Kingbreaker Book One by Karen Miller. This was an impulse buy based on the cover. I typically don't read these type of books, but so far it's pretty good.